We are off on holiday, fools! So don't wait up.
There will be another blog gap I should imagine, however down in the more civilized southern states I believe they have these internet cafe contraptions where I can take the lap top and use their wireless network.. I don't know.
Anyhoo, please be assured that if I have a spare moment I will be checking in with tales of high adventure and intrigue.
I now also have a myspace page, you should get one too.
See you in the soup.

Cocktail Hour

Last night was the introduction of Cocktail Hour at Casa Mystones. It was a roaring success. But before I elaborate, let me give a brief history of The Cocktail Hour. (which neither lasts only an hour, or involves "cocktails" as such)

This version of Cocktail Hour was conceptualised back in the mid 90s in a little house in Como, Perth. I was living there with a bunch of Darwin expats and we had few friends and had even less money. We had to make our own fun and thus the Cocktail Hour was born.
One sunny Spring afternoon, we had all gathered at home after a long day of attending uni lectures, part time jobs or basic loafing around in a stoned haze. It was payday and after the pooling of resources. allotment of monies to various household expenses and a run up to the local for a couple of goonbags, inspiration struck. We gave ourselves half an hour to find the most flamboyant and sexy things in our wardrobes (good taste by no means a requirement) put on a great deal of make up and the most impractical shoes we owned. We then regrouped on the back verandah, gussied up our cheap wine with fruit garnishes and paper umbrellas and proceeded to get shitfaced in style. This became a payday tradition - until of course we finally made friends and developed a more extensive social life, it dropped back to about once every couple of months.

Cocktail Hour resurfaced many years later when living back in Darwin, this time in the beautiful Ludmilla House with A-M and Sam.
The main addition to this version was character development - not only did we dress up, we were required to take on another character for the duration of the evening. Being older and also
employed, there was the added advantage of better quality beverages.

Yesterday while sitting at my desk and looking to all intents and purposes that I was deep in thought about pressing issues regarding my various duties and implementation of work practice..(blah blah blah blah) I was in fact reminiscing about those good old days and upon my return home instructed the family that Cocktail Hour had arrived and "you better go get your glam on".
Half an hour later, Tash was rocking the tiara , I had on perilously high shoes, Paul was blinged, Mel had dropped in and was attacked immediately with PVC and faux fur, Brother Brett even got in on the action with a very Micheal Jackson Smooth Criminal look. Hilarity ensued and the re-institution of an obviously recurring tradition was complete.
Do not underestimate the power of green eyeshadow and excessive drinking.

5

It's been another short hiatus in the bloggingness of L-M. This is for a number of reasons, the main one being nothing has been happening. Really.
I can update you in a list. In a "top five things that have happened in the world of L-M" list. This will be very easy.

5 - We made friends with our handyman neighbour. We have been living next door to this bloke for about six months but have only just had opportunity to meet him. He's nice, and he's handy.

4 - I got depressed, then sick, then better, then happy again. Partly hormones, partly the weather, partly general melancholy about my environment. But I'm all good now.

3 - I realised that there is less than two weeks until we go on HOLIDAY and I am very very excited and can think of pretty much nothing else.

2 - Another friend has announced that she is leaving Darwin, but this time under not very happy circumstances so I am not going to complain about abandonment, just wish her well for the future.

1 - I taught Matilda to say "Chris is a gaybo" so that next time she sees him this is how she will greet him. Hilarious comedic value? Child exploitation? You decide.
(Brett has informed me that if she gets kicked out of child care for saying inappropriate things, then it is I who must stay at home and look after her in childcare's stead. So this may be the last experiment in making Matilda say funny rude stuff)

Those of you that know me and thus know my story, are aware of my past incarnation as a BookSeller. Bookshops were my thang and I thought I would always be working in the bookselling industry in one form or another. Often I look back with the romanticised eye of one who has been out of the retail game for a while. I wistfully recall the "good old days " and wonder why I ever let myself become another public servant, button pushing drone when I could be surrounded by great works of literature and having interesting and educational conversations with the intelligent, reading public.

By some form of kismet, or strange twist of fate, somehow a phone call was transferred to me that was a client who was having trouble getting in touch with my employing institution's Bookshop. The conversation that ensued, which is reproduced for you below, reminded me in a stark and blinding way how grateful I am to no longer be in the retail game - even though I am so obviously all about service.

Frantic Caller : I have been ringing and ringing the book shop and I can’t get through. I have emailed and emailed and they won't respond. I have one simple question and I can get noone to answer me.!
Me : You should check the contact details you have because I find that very hard to believe, perhaps I can help you.
Frantic Caller : I have just moved to Adelaide and I want to know if there is anywhere here I can buy my books,(increasing in panicked volume)Where will I find the books I need in Adelaide?? "
Me : a long explanation of the online and telephone ordering processes in the 20th Century.
Frantic Caller : You don't understand I am in ADELAIDE!
Me : We don’t have an Adelaide branch of our bookshop
Frantic Caller : will any Adelaide bookshops sell my books?
Me : I am not privy to the stock ordering habits of the South Australian bookselling community, or any selling community for that matter"
Frantic Caller : well where are the bookshops in Adelaide?
Me ; I recommend you refer to the Yellow Pages. I hope that was helpful, goodbye.

And I hung up.

Not the most hilarious anecdote , I know - but it really resonated with me. It's nice to know that I may well have made the right career choice after all.

More on Bono

(Taken from the wonderful Popbitch newsletter)

Vanity Fair have invited "pop-humanitarian"
Bono to be guest editor of the July issue, to
try and "rebrand Africa". Some magazines
have been sharing some other facts about Bono:
* In the year since it was founded, his Red
campaign (licensed to Gap, Motorola, Apple etc)
has raised $18 million - but companies have
spent $100 million to market it.
* Bono doesn't invest his own money in Red.
* Apple sells a Special Edition U2 iPod. Its
profits are not donated to Red.
* U2 made $389m from the recent Vertigo tour.
Its revenue was then funnelled through
companies mostly registered in Ireland and
structured to minimize taxes.
* U2 moved its music publishing company to
the Netherlands from Ireland in June 2006, six
months before Ireland ended a tax exemption
on musicians' royalty income.
* Richard Murphy, adviser to lobbying group the
Tax Justice Network, says "This is somebody
who's exceptionally rich taking the opportunity
to shift his tax burden to somebody else, but
then asking governments around the world to
spend that tax take in the way that he would like."

It's Love

Paul and I have a practice of providing each other with email updates throughout the days that he has off from work. This is because he is at home and generally loafing around, and I guess loafing around is what best describes what I do at work.
I just received this update regarding our pending meal tonight..

"All is going well. The sauce is completed, which is delicious if i do say so myself (Asahi agrees with me). It is reducing as i type this. Next is a clean up and preparation for the cheese sauce - the trickiest part of any lasagna. This is not only because it requires the delicate balance of dairy products but also that it must be quickly followed by assembly so that the cheese sauce is at the correct consistency during this most crucial stage.i timed myself and came in at a good two hours for this first stage - not even one cigarette break. That was of course the first thing i did once the sauce was nicely simmering and now this update. The cheese sauce happens quite quickly, so i should have this pretty much wrapped up by the time you get home. Nice work."

Now who the hell wouldn't want to rush home to that! This is yet another reason why I love that man.

Happy International Women's Day!

Today is International Women's Day - so excuse me , I must dash off to engage in empowering and womanly activities.

He still hasn't found....

So this is how Bono's most recent campaign for sainthood has turned out. Twat. Go back to making music asshat - stick to what you are good at. Was it not blatantly obvious from the get go that capitalism and charity make strange bedfellows.

I'm angry

disclaimer - please skip over this post if a) you have no interest in reading another bloody blogger rabbiting on in an overwrought way of the state of Australian politics b) have already heard me go on and on in an overwrought way about the state of Australian politics or c) are my Dad.

It is rare that I get passionately engaged in domestic political issues. I am certainly aware and thus generally bemused. 16 odd years of conservative government has left me somewhat cynical and much as I exercise my privilege to vote, I have become resigned to the fact that our status as the "lucky country"has led to a complacency and greediness in the general Australian public that looks after the hip pocket as opposed to the good of the community, both domestically and globally. A blind eye is turned to the deceit and outright arrogance of our esteemed leader - as long as we are assured that our false economy is still standing strong and interest rates on our mortgages aren't going to rise too dramatically ( fat lot of good that did ya , 2004 coalition voters...but I digress)
The repeated bullshit and blatant hypocrisy that is fed to us continues and I am inured to it. Until today.

Ian Campbell has been unceremoniously dumped from his cabinet minister duties for having met with the now infamous Brian Burke. John Howard in his infinite wisdom has removed this unsightly blight on his team simply to enable him to continue attacking the Ruddster on an issue that Rudd has already proved to be a non event. who gives a crap!!?? Alexander Downer and Mark Vaille remain as loyal knights to Howard's throne after acknowledging their acquiescence and support of the AWB while doing dodgy dealings with the evil super villian of our time SADDAM HUSSEIN (dah dah daaahhh..)- on the eve of us supporting and contributing to an invasion of said dictators homeland. What?? Is this an episode of Yes Prime Minister? NO - the premise is far too outlandish to be used in a witty and clever UK satirical sitcom, no - this is our freaking Australian government.
The fact that dear Johnny has made a tap dance and showstopping tune of clearing the decks of all things possibly affiliated with Brian Burke is nothing less than ludicrous, transparent and blatantly hypocritical. It makes me so so so sad to think that come election time, just like the children overboard and those pesky invisible weapons of mass destruction, that this ridiculous farce will probably be forgotten in lieu of varied propaganda campaigns all focusing on WHAT you can GET from the old faithful and how risky change will be to the retirement fund. Are Australians that greedy? Can we sell our souls while being blind to the erosion of our very defining characteristics (see - outsourcing of manual labour, I.R. reform, sale of QANTAS and TELSTRA etc...) I may be naive, but I now have very little faith in the general Australian public and their political ethical fortitude - so does the the old tenet ring true? - a nation gets the leader it deserves?

We are gonna be rich!

As of 12.17 pm this afternoon there have 42 views of this photo that appears on my flickr site of Tash, on the couch , in the hotel room on Saturday evening. This is unprecedented viewing statistics for me and I am perplexed as to why it might have happened.

Is there an untapped fetish market out there for tired pregnant girls in vintage lace frocks, lounging? If there is, I am going to find ways I can exploit the many pregnant women I have in my social circle at the moment and make myself a millionaire! Look out Joe Francis!

WET

wow! Talk about pissing down! It has now been raining for more than 24 hours, interspersed with periodic terrifying lightning strikes followed by louvre shaking thunder. It takes a floatable device and a flashlight to traverse the murky waters from my carport to the front door.
The back yard - which was recently a tropical paradise for lounging with a Tom Collins and playing the occasional game of boulles is now best described as a lake. Paul was brave enough to go out with flashlight and tape measure to best assess the situation (B.O.M., give him a call - he knows what he's doing...) The results are in - it's fucking wet out there.The best thing to do is to batten down, open another bottle of wine and wait for Noah.

My Stones

It was all a false alarm! I have no internal namesakes to be concerned about. The tests are back and there is no evidence of any stoney products residing in my personal plumbing.
As happy as that makes me, the doctor is still at a loss to explain why I was in excruciating pain for a week. This leaves me feeling a little uneasy. Apparently all of the organs viewed via ultra sound came back looking AOK. The only thing left to do is have more blood tests - these ones specific to my liver. When these are assessed I will know if there is something further to be addressed or if I just had an inflammation of the liver that has gone away due to me taking anti-inflammatory drugs and modifiying my diet and grog consumption.
So regardless of the outcome, I have finally experienced a catalyst for change. Having undergone the worry, the tests and not to mention the extreme discomfort of whatever my condition was - I can see how my lifestyle could possibly lead to alot more problems in the future.
I have by no means experienced an epiphanic moment and have now seen the light, going to go tee total and eat only organic, free range, free trade mung beans. I am just going to pull back a little. Lower my grog consumption and make an effort to eat a little better (goodbye centimetre thick butter on my vegemite toast in the morning). I can already feel the benefts and my bowel is very grateful. Who knows I may even lose some weight in the process. (see, I have worked it out, that's how they do it)