Tetchy

I am so incredibly grumpy today. My co-workers have been avoiding me, my boyfriend won't reply to my emails and since I got home even grumpo extraordinaire - Kodak the cat- has been giving me a wide berth.
I have no idea why this is the case , I am just going to accept it, find a nice book to read and hope that it is nothing that a bit of Bombay Sapphire and tonic can't fix.

Night of the Hen's

From what I can gather/remember the Hen's Night went swimmingly. All of the components required to indicate success were there. The Hen herself puked and passed out before 9.30. Two women slept in the garden others passed out on every available flat surface. Another good friend vomited all over the inside of her car when her husband came to collect her. The shower screen fell on a girls head while she was powdering her nose and drew blood - a rush to hospital for stitches was neccesitated. The question I had to ask myself at this point was - are we 30something year old , sophisticated women of the world? or 19 year old boys on schoolies week?
Apart from all of the chaos and destruction there was also significant amounts of dancing , singing and general merriment. The boys did very very well in their jobs as cocktail providers (obviously in some cases a little too well) The crowd was a pretty demanding one - their thirst not quenched until consciousness failed them - so under such pressure our boys stood up to the challenge. At one point , with the stripper being over an hour late, I thought there was risk of a drunken riot , but our stalwart bar boys even managed to quell this.
Personally , I am still recovering. My body is sore, my eyes in need of long term closure. I couldn't face a bacardi right now for love nor money. Resting time this week, all ready for the BIG EVENT this weekend - the wedding itself.

Well I am flat out , kickin' it loony style at the moment. Soooo busy. At work we are in the midst of the biggest event we have to organise in yearly calender. As a result I am working 15 hour days this Wednesday , Thursday and Friday.
Saturday is the party we have all been waiting for - Kyms Hens Night. As bridesmaid it has been my dubious honour to organise said event. I am a virgin of managing such festivities, having only briefly attended ONE other Hens Night in my life. It's not really how I roll - however I figured everyone has to do it some time and if being a bridesmaid calls for such duties, I will throw myself in headlong and organise the best goddarned Hens Night this side of the Berrimah Line. (cos I bet those hard women out Humpty Doo way hold a mean and rockin' Hens Night)
So I think I have succeeded thus far - with the inspiring assistance of the valiant Kath (another of Kyms mates) and her gloriously organised mother Anja. We have all of the usual (or what I am led to believe is usual) bits and bobs - cocktails served by hunky boys (Roni, Aaron and Mikey - but thats another story for another post) various penis themed novelties, games involving polywaffles and condoms, more cocktails and last but not least - a real live male stripper! (Dusty the cowboy , and all I can say is that at what he charges for a 20 minute show he had better be wearing some assless chaps!)
I am slightly apprehensive....but also nervously excited Should be fun - and if I can pull this off my career as an Event Manager may be off to a flying start!

President Ahmadinejad's letter to President Bush

I have finally found a copy on the internet of the letter. I know alot of you computer savvy people probably think that this would be quite a simple find - but I have an issue with search engines...and I am a mild internet retard.
Well here it is - and for those of you who haven't yet read it (here's looking at you Georgie boy) get to it. There has been alot of misinformation in the media regarding what it contains.

Come of Age

House Dog Sassy has given birth to 4 beautiful puppies. What we thought were going to be Jack Russell/ Silky Terrier pups (sired by the sneaky little Silky next door - whom I witnessed in the act with our Sass...but that's another story) have turned out to be quite the opposite. With their black coats, white socks and beards they look like they could possibly be from a Border Collie. Nonetheless they are ACE and Sassy has come of age. She is making everyone in the house proud with her obvious ability to mother. Here we have the before and after pics. Mel wants to keep all four , however I think Mikey has finally convinced her that it may not be the best of living arrangements.

My Boyfriend is a Hero and he Chased Away the Robber

...in his own words (in an email to me here at work)

"So, i'm sitting at my computer and out the corner of my eye someone walks past the bedroom window. Couldn't make out much except that it was a male, wearing light brown cargo pants and he was skulking about our yard! Sassy was asleep in our bedroom with me, but as soon as i stood up she knew something was going on. i go out the front door at speed hoping to catch up with whoever in the carport, Sassy growling and barking behind me. Carport : nobody, Greenroom : nobody, i calm Sassy down and check the back gate : nothing suspicious. Then i notice that the neighbours dog is going stupid as well, so i stick my head over the fence and there he is doing more skulking. First i say 'gday', no response - he walks away and i yell out 'Are you OK?', no response - he starts legging it! So i leg it to the front gate and there he is leaping over next doors front fence onto the street heading away from our place. By now Mel is awake and has joined me at the gate. i yell out 'You right mate?', nothing 'OI! What are you doing?'
- to which he finally and quickly replies, 'I was lookin' for my dog'.
Yeah, right mate. Brown cargo pants, Caucasian male, short brown hair
- i got your number buddy!",

So apart from the excessive amounts of "skulking" and "legging" I am very proud of Paul and the valiant Sassy. I will certainly sleep better at night knowing they are there.

Well, predictably, once again it has been a long time between posts. So much has happened between Easter and now, keeping me exceedingly occupied and unable to cater to you, my gentle reader.
I have been bed ridden with the hellish gastroentiritis bacteria. Our housemate and Mikey's partner Melanie has returned from her Japanese adventure. We have hosted a couple of kick ass parties and I have attended a couple more. We have had more public holidays than you can poke a stick at - giving us five weeks in a row of four day working weeks, which is going to make next week seem so painfully long in comparison. My very good mates Matt and Tracey have made the gut wrenching (for me) decision to leave town, soon. A former work colleague and drinking buddy of mine John, has returned from a 7 year absence and it is wonderful to see him again(proving to me the theory that dorky geek boys get no less dorky or geeky as they get older) I have been doing a fair bit of mental spring cleaning, cutting the dead wood, freeing up my mind for the important people and doing a bit of soul searching in the process ( man, I am deep). A very scary cyclone threatened, sending us into a frenzy of preparation ( and for me a frenzy of fear and wild theorizing of the consequences of said cyclone). We prepared and I panicked and then it simply went away.
My parents have returned with their newly purchased campervan and it seems that the life of a grey nomad is about to be their lot. I am flat chat at work (when I am actually there) and my neice is demanding alot of my time just because she is generally so god damned cute.
So all in all , you can see I have reasonably valid explanations for the tardiness of my blog entries. And unfortunately for all 5 of you out there that read my little contribution to the blogosphere, you may have to wait a little longer for any semblance of an interesting story.
So until then.....