First, I got the flu. Yesterday I got my period. Today I woke up with the biggest pimple on my ass I'm sure it is actually classified as a "boil "(something which I have never experienced so am unsure what size the protuberance needs to be before it is no longer a pimple and becomes a boil) It hurts to sit. Sitting is one of my favourite pastimes.
If this isn't the Assiest. Week. Ever. I just don't kow what is.
posted by Lisa-Marie CDU @ 11:05 am
15 Comments:
Give up I say
this will make you feel better:
after an all nighter on Friday, we decide it's a good idea to go camping on champagne ridge (bout 1hrs drive on a good day in a proper car). departed at 6am, leaving a trail of car behind us as we rallied up to our destination scaring countrymen and cows along the way.
didn't take enough food. got there absolutely covered in mud & had to buy a goat, firewood & teabags off a nearby Maasai (who must have thought we were USELESS). the goat made me violently ill by 3am that night/ next morning and triggering an intense and early period. after purging the goat gracefully into my t-shirt,i washed my hands and went to splash face before spotting scorpion on the bucket. we had lots of wine with no opener. half the beer bottles smashed on the way. played poker and got royally burnt. had to get a rescue car to escort us back the next day.
we were in (laughing) hysterics throughout - luckily the grog lasted long enough for us to keep our sense of humour.
got to friends house, had curry for dinner. locked my keys in the car along with phone, wallet, house keys, shoes, etc.
funnily enough though - it was the best weekend most of us have had for a long time. i allready have some pics. will send through in a bit.
hope your week gets better. sorry you have a sore bum.
x
it's kate by the way. am sitting at work feeling fairly sorry for myself in borrowed flip flops and borrowed clothes that don't quite fit - wondering why i never got around to stragetically placing the spare keys to my house & car somewhere clever in case of an event like this.
i hope the photo of the broken car cheers you up some.
xx
k
Definition of Boil
Boil: A skin abscess, a collection of pus localized deep in the skin. A boil usually starts as a reddened, tender area and in time becomes firm and hard. Eventually, the center of the abscess softens and becomes filled with white blood cells that the body sends to fight the infection. This collection of white cells is the pus.
There are several different types of boils. Among them are the following:
Furuncle or carbuncle: An abscess in the skin caused by the bacteria Staphylococcus aureus. It can have one or more openings onto the skin and may be associated with fever and chills.
Cystic acne: A type of abscess formed when oil ducts become clogged and infected. Cystic acne is most common in the teenage years.
Hidradenitis suppurativa: An illness in which there are multiple abscesses that form under the arm pits and in the groin area. These areas are a result of local inflammation of the sweat glands.
Pilonidal cyst: A special kind of abscess that occurs in the crease of the buttocks. These frequently form after long trips that involve sitting.
Antibiotics are often not very helpful in treating abscesses. The main treatments are hot packs and then draining ("lancing") the abscess when it is soft and ready to drain.
A pimple on your tongue means you've been telling lies.
A pimple on your ass, well that’s another thing altogether.
The rind of the Halm tree root, boiled till it be soft, masticated & then smeared on, vanquishes all spots, red pimples & angry boils from ones ass.
Halm in various forms is also good for preserving corpses, malaria, fever, hepatic ailments, gastric ulcers, diabetes, anaemia, high cholesterol, pre- and post-natal pain, eases menstrual discomfort, male & female infertility, cerebral tonic, fever, rheumatism, typhoid, stomach ulcers, pain killer, an antiseptic to the bladder, chronic inflammation of the urinary passages, good diuretic, post-menstrual haemorrhages, alcoholic maceration, rheumatism, cardio tonic, anti-anaemic, anti-malarial. dental analgesic, conjunctivitis, snakebite, difficult child deliveries, source of the main hydrocarbon compound making up the bulk of both Bundaberg Rum & industrial thinners, nervous or weak children with colic, food colouring, body decoration, anti-dysenteric, anti-septic, anti-venereal, aphrodisiac, astringent, febrifugal, skin problems, eliminates scars, hepatitis, anti-pyretic, beneficial for the digestive system, cures prostate cancer, tonsillitis, phlegm in newborn babies, gallstones, stomach tonic, chronic dyspepsia, relieves fatigue & small needle-like cramps, bad spirits & evil witches, body aches, flu, building houses and interior decoration, a condiment, diabetes, energizer, tonic for psyche & body, anaemic children, contains vitamins, amino acids & minerals, magic or religious rituals, rheumatism, regulates late menstrual periods, hysteria, migraine, headaches, skin infections, dermatitis, cures cancer, back aches, muscle spasms, pain, inflammation, kidney stress, bronchial asthma, impotency, sores in the mouth, laryngitis, worms, alleviates chills, sore throats, angina, water retention, hepatitis, toothache, jaundice, food poisoning, bruising, baldness, elephantiasis, fever, syphilis, leprosy, malaria, nephritis, fat absorber, cellulite reducer, psoriasis, herpes, dandruff, yeast infections, madness, parasites, dropsy, kidney stones, liver protector, obesity, anti-fungal, anti-bacterial, eliminates free radicals, anti-spasmodic, gonorrhoea, polio, ringworm, heart problems, breast cancer, vertigo, emotional shock, & as a substitute for lead based marine paints.
It also makes men more potent & manly, (eg grow handlebar moustaches, drink Coopers Pale & keep it up all night),
& makes women better able to meet their marital duties.
Please note, do not use Halm to treat ingrown toenails.
sorry....
& lock jaw (tetanus).
Stones,
What is it about your teeth and the boil on your arse that causes people to reach out to you??
I think the reasoning behind the increased traffic is the fact that her arse and teeth are her most prominent features.
Imagine the traffic if it were teeth marks on her arse. Especially her own.
ha ha.
we finally beat the number of teeth comments with a boil on your arse post.
that is funny.
what exactly does that say about your friends?
k
Her arse & associated pimples is a big thing in all of our lives.
This arse post is huge.
Reminds me of
it's because we care
k
this is fast becoming an arse fetish blog, more flesh I say.
more flesh AND more teeth
Post a Comment
<< Home